My journey with Jesus has not been linear. There are moments I drift away and He has to pull me back, He never lets me go far. My friend calls this growth process “pruning“. It’s the place where you learn, unlearn and shed garments that aren’t yours to wear.
Jesus is my Saviour first and a very good friend. I know now that there is no blueprint because everyone’s journey is different. The first step is to be willing to receive and accept Him. Jesus is kind enough to meet us where we are, in His words,
“Come to Me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
I learnt that walking with Jesus is not a task I get to check off a list. It’s not an aesthetic but a constant journey, so here is what walking with Jesus looks like for me.
It Looks Like Talking to Him About Everything, Nothing is Off The Table
There is nothing like oversharing or yapping too much with Jesus, He’s always here to listen.
After listening to “Talking to Jesus” by Elevation Worship & Maverick City, my views on prayer changed. In the past, I believed prayer was all about getting on my knees, talking to God and making requests. Not to say this doesn’t count, but I was seeing it through one lens.
Listening to this song revealed that prayer was communicating with God, like a friend. Like you would approach your father with a problem or a random bit about your day. This opened me up to not looking at prayer as a formal exercise but a personal one.
Overtime, I got a prayer journal. In it, I write about everything and when words don’t suffice, my tears do. I know He listens because I look through old entries and see prayers He answered. Although He’s aware of my innermost thoughts, He still wants to hear all about it.
It Looks Like Having Doubts and Showing Up Anyway
Before starting this blog, I had a lot of questions fuelled by doubt. In true me fashion, I asked the Lord about them and expected to get answers immediately. Clarity did not come until after almost two months spent agonizing and questioning.
These answers did not even come at once, they came in trickles. A helping hand here, and a clear revelation there painted the complete picture. One constant reminder that kept me grounded is God’s faithfulness. I held on to this verse that says,
“And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.” –Deuteronomy 31:8
This spurred me to work with what I had, the urge to write. I’m still figuring things out but I have help this time. God is present and He has made allowance for the many questions in my heart.
It Looks Like Coming Back, Over and Over Again
One of my favourite songs is “Over and Over Again” by Elevation Rhythm.
No, I could never grow tired of telling You You’re worthy
There’s so many ways I could sing of Your glory
No, I will never get tired of telling You You’re worthy
Over and over again…
This year has taught me that walking with Jesus requires me to surrender my life to Him over and over again. There are a lot of parables I love, but that of the prodigal son stands out because it encapsulates God’s love (Luke 15:11-32).
The prodigal son returned, expecting to be a slave and there his father was with open arms. Filled with compassion, he ran to embrace him when he was still a far way off. His father was so happy to have him return home that he threw a feast and killed the fattened calf.
The key is to return home no matter how many times I drift away. Like the prodigal son, we all have moments when we rebel. I pray to never believe the lie that God is not going to open His arms to me when I come running to Him.
It Looks Like Choosing To Forgive, Even When It’s Inconvenient
The transforming power of God’s love is often not mentioned enough. Remembering His sacrifice and His love for me has spurred me to want to give that love. In my human capacity, I am unable to give a fraction of it.
With the help of the Holy Spirit, I am learning to respond with kindness and patience, even when I’m reluctant. I am learning to forgive and let go of things others do without needing an apology.
I am often reminded of the number of times God has forgiven me. If you think seventy seven times seven is a huge number, try to count how many times God has forgiven you in one day.
It Looks Like Growing in Ways I Didn’t Expect
In the past, I believed loving others meant excusing and tolerating bad behaviour. I’m beginning to see now that boundaries exist for a reason. Staying in a toxic space is not a testament of love.
In uni, I had a friend who belittled and attacked my character no matter what I did to help her. My walk with Jesus opened my eyes to see that allowing her in my space was not good for me so I distanced myself.
My growth has also made me more conscious of labels I attach to myself. As a child of God, claiming names contrary to those He calls me is detrimental to the brand. I am righteous, beloved, a saint, His daughter and handwork.
Conclusion
No, my walk with Jesus is far from perfect. I often cry and seek Him to hold my hand and guide me. I don’t have all the answers but He’s asking me to come as I am, to trust and obey Him.
If you’re struggling in your walk, you are not alone. Jesus is calling you to come as you are so open up your heart today. Believe that He loved you enough to die for you and be willing to choose Him for the rest of your life. What does your walk with Jesus look like right now?
Song Recommendations
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Talking to Jesus by Elevation Worship & Maverick City
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Over and Over Again by Elevation Rhythm
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Heart of God by Zach Williams
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Getaway by Taya
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Run to the Father by Matt Maher
