The day’s been long, and you sink into the sofa, too weary to think. Your phone chimes. You crank an eye open and check the group chat, the one you never mute.
Martin got a promotion. Vivian just graduated. Tim’s having a baby. The chat is filled with heart emojis and congratulations. Someone suggests going for drinks this weekend to celebrate.
You stare at the screen for a moment, reminded that you’re between jobs. You pause, remembering the state of your finances. And just like that, the pressure to have it all figured out hits.
You can’t help but wonder if your life is on track after all…
Feeling behind in your 20s really sucks. Societal pressure to have your career, relationships, and personal growth all figured out can leave you feeling lost. Tiredness runs deep, and constant comparison doesn’t help.
Maybe navigating adulthood with pressure isn’t such a bad thing. It could be an opportunity to evolve and grow. Today, we’ll be exploring why we feel pressure to have life figured out in our 20s.
Where Does the Pressure to Have It All Figured Out in Your 20s Come From?
Life is a journey, one that unfolds at a different pace for every single individual. –Ink & Instinct
In life, we all have different paths, even if it doesn’t always feel that way. Silent timelines have been set in place, and when you don’t meet these, you feel like a failure.
This pressure isn’t all in your head. Research shows that many young adults experience high levels of stress and uncertainty. It’s likely a result of the challenges that come with figuring life out in your 20s.
Anxiety regarding your career, relationships, and finances can result in frustration. If our benchmarks for success are different, how is failure the same?
Some sources of this pressure include:
– Social Media
– Society
– Fear of failure
– Family and peer expectations
Tracing most of these sources back, it becomes clear that “figuring life out” is shaped by comparison. We chase milestone after milestone, hoping to feel complete, and there’s no end in sight.
The Reality of “Figuring It Out”
Here’s something we don’t talk about often. Figuring life out doesn’t happen in an instant. Self-discovery takes time, and there are versions of yourself you’re yet to meet.
Finding purpose often comes after you take a step. Only then do you learn whether it was the right one. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.”
The truth is that a major part of life requires improvisation. Your purpose could evolve, and you’d learn to adapt to the changing script. You grasp how to redefine your goals and values.
Also Read: Top 10 Lessons Learnt About Adulting in My 20s
How to Cope With Pressure in Your 20s
Once you accept that figuring life out is a myth, the next step is to free yourself from unrealistic timelines. To ease some of the pressure in your 20s, remember that your timing might look different.
Right now, I am involved in different corners of the creative world. Whether I’m designing buildings or writing stories or articles, my hands dance between passions.
This year has taught me that balancing these different parts of my person requires discipline. Naturally, my pace is different from those specializing in one thing.
It’s redundant to be frustrated at my progress when the scales aren’t balanced. Instead of obsessing over deadlines, I now focus on the journey and lessons learnt on the way.
So, how do you start the process of letting go? Here are a few ways to ease some of that pressure.
– Prioritise your well-being: It’s easier to find clarity when your mind isn’t filled with so much noise. So, focus on self-care, discover new hobbies and learn to enjoy your own company.
– Break your goals into smaller steps: Always aim for progress, not perfection, because growth takes time. Like the plant that needs water and pruning to become a shrub, be patient with yourself.
– Lean on people you feel safe with: Share your experience with friends and family who won’t heap on more pressure. This way, you can process your feelings with those who have the capacity to hold you when you need it.
– Learn to find peace in the present: Comparison culture causes a lot of us to feel dissatisfied with where we are. We forget that we are living some parts of our story we once hoped for.
Final Thoughts
Learning to ease the pressure in your 20s isn’t about getting everything right. It’s about choosing to celebrate small wins instead of fixating on what’s missing.
When you stop measuring your life by timelines, you start to see life as an experiment. Yes, your 20s are a crucial decade for big decisions. No, you don’t need to have it all figured out at once.
