My faith often feels like a tide that ebbs and flows. There are days when my trust is so complete and others when uncertainty threatens to drown me. Sometimes, I have faith smaller than a mustard seed and wonder if that can still move mountains.
When my thoughts and actions do not reflect trust in God, I worry I’m a fraud. It appears this is common among believers growing in the faith. If you’re like me, overthinking and having a little faith, here are a few confessions to help you feel less alone.
Confession #1: I Wrestle for Control In My Limited Capacity As A Human
A lot of the time, I struggle with releasing the reins of my life and handing them over to God. I did not think about it until an event in late 2023 brought this to my attention.
While taking driving lessons, I was to make a turn to get on the main street. On this day, my instructor was holding the steering with me to guide it, which was a huge mistake. I turned the steering too much and we began veering off the road. Because I was holding on too tight, my instructor was unable to guide the steering. My foot was on the brake, so I was able to stop the car in-time with no casualties.
Reflecting on that incident felt like someone put a magnifying glass on me. I remembered the many times I’d say Jesus had the wheels of my life when I never let go of them. I learnt then that surrendering looks like letting go and trusting God to guide me.
Confession #2: I Doubt, Then Feel Guilty for Doubting
I used to believe that having a relationship with God was a cure for doubt. In my head, doubting any part of His word made me a disappointment because it meant I lacked faith. This made me unable to talk about certain problems I was having and then guilt would emerge.
Overtime, this belief has evolved but it still creeps up. Jesus didn’t reject Thomas for requesting to see His hands, feet and side, He showed him proof instead.
‘Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” ‘ –John 20:27
There are various ways He answers the questions I have. Sometimes, clarity comes from my conversations with others and studying the Word. As much as I doubt, Jesus is able to answer whatever questions I raise.
Also Read: How I Stopped Hiding My Faith
Confession #3: I Want Signs for the Signs
As a curious individual, I have a desire to know and be sure of everything. To avoid taking risks or making mistakes, I try to make my plans as foolproof as possible. This fear of failure leads me to ask for confirmation and clarity over and over again.
I am learning that God does not always answer in the ways I expect. While I’m looking for special signs in the ordinary events of my day, His word usually has the answers. When I’m crying that He hasn’t heard me, He’s planning to reveal answers in His time, not mine.
These days, I have stopped waiting for signs. I take more risks now with the knowledge that God is on my side and can redirect my “failures.” For more on signs from God, you can read this article from the Great American Journal here.
Confession #4: I Overanalyze Everything, A Little Too Much
‘Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life ? ‘ –Matthew 6:27
Overthinking and making assumptions go hand in hand. Mystery creates blanks while our minds rush to fill them. Although I make less assumptions now, I used to be a gold medallist in jumping to conclusions.
I read meaning into almost everything-wrong meanings-and took my conclusions as truth. Having conversations would reveal how wrong I was and cause me to retreat in shame. That was not a sustainable way to live.
These days, God is teaching me to slow down, allow things to happen, and let people be. I do not need detailed explanations for everything.
Conclusion
Sometimes, overthinking can lead us down paths that make us question our faith. This does not mean we do not love God, because it is necessary for growth. Always go to Him with your questions and learn patience while you wait for the answers.
Do you also struggle with thinking too much? How has it affected your faith in Jesus? Leave a comment and tell me all about it.
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