There is usually a joy that sets in at the end of each week. When the thrilling prospect of wrapping up work to be a couch potato all weekend feels near. If you’re like me, you look forward to curling up with a book and tuning out the noise of the world. Of course, this joy rarely lasts. My brain spells out a mental list of chores that cancel “couch time”. I either remember friends I owe a visit, a room that needs clearing, or a million other tasks.
On a random scroll through Google, I learnt this feeling has a name: rest guilt. It’s the notion that rest is a waste of time, and activities outside the productive realm equal laziness. There is no room for the fact that we all need rest to function. When an activity becomes a need, what’s the point of avoiding it? In this article, I’m sharing ways I’m learning to rest without feeling guilty.
Reasons Why You Feel Guilty When You Rest
I felt the need to find out why guilt often shows up when we rest. A weekly to-do list works for me, but I don’t carve out time to unwind. When I find time to do things I enjoy, I’m rarely present. It feels like my brain is screaming at me to complete tasks on my list first. I have come to realize this is not an ideal setting to fuel relaxation.
Still, even when I resist, my brain craves rest. It is why I don’t function well on a few hours of sleep. Society has conditioned us to seek validation based on our accomplishments. Our brains view rest as laziness and a waste of time. When I have an unfinished project, I struggle to sit still during my lunch break. My mind whispers that the minutes I spend sipping soda could complete a spreadsheet.
Here are a few common reasons we feel guilty when we rest:
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We have learnt that hard work defines our worth.
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Most of us link our identity to productivity.
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We view rest an activity we earn, not one we deserve.
Because of these beliefs, we’re unable to enjoy moments of peace and quiet. We decide that we must do something at all times. But research shows that brief breaks during a task actually improves our focus. The truth is, we would function best when we’re well rested.
Ways I Am Learning to Overcome Rest Guilt
Understanding the root of my guilt became my first step in overcoming it. My search for answers led me to try a few things. After weighing what has worked so far, here are the ways I’m learning to manage rest guilt.
I have redefined what being productive means
In the past, I believed rest was a reward. After completing daily tasks, I would give myself permission to sleep before midnight. Once I exceeded 1000 words, I would eat my lunch. I withheld simple joys and necessary breaks until I ‘earned’ them. Now, rest is a non-negotiable part of my routine.
When making my many lists, I now have pockets of time dedicated to rest. I schedule morning walks, quaint music, mindless scrolling, and one hour naps on slow days. Choosing to give my mind space does not make me lazy. I’m human, most of our lives involve balance.
I schedule time-offs to recharge my social battery
Exposure to people drains me and so, I need to recharge my social battery. There are days on my calendar dedicated to “no people.” It is when I put on comfy pyjamas, light a candle and read a book. It could also look like lying in my room to rest for half a day. As long as people are far away from me, I’m fine.
Thankfully, my friends know to leave me alone when I get like this. I make sure to clear my work schedule beforehand. Capitalism often pays no mind to your social levels. Work is due when work is due, and often leaves no room for excuses . My trick is to time my unwind moments around the weekends where deadlines don’t exist.
I now romanticize quiet time
One of my favourite parts of the week is my Sunday Reset. This is when I gather my journal to pen my thoughts, or printed colouring sheets to paint in. The vibe is set with snacks and a chill playlist. When I’m not writing or painting, I am creating stickers to place in my journals. These are activities that make time race smoothly for a few hours.
To begin, I print out journal prompts or images to paint. After the rush of lunch hour and before dinner prep, I gather my markers and get to work. At first, I thought it was silly until I noticed how enjoyable simple activities can be. Right now, I am an advocate for romanticizing life and making “silly things” fun.
I speak to myself kindly when I rest
One of the major ways I deal with rest guilt is through self-talk. A friend introduced me to an app called, “I Am” to help my inner-dialogue. It took constant practice, and though I still slip up sometimes, empathy is necessary. The same way I would not berate a friend for taking time off is the same way I’d treat myself. Here are a few affirmations on my phone that I read from time to time:
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I am allowed to rest without guilt. My creativity flourishes in balance.
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Rest is productive, and I honour my need for it.
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I will welcome the magic of rest without guilt.
I choose to stay present over seeking an escape from reality
In the past, doom scrolling to escape reality was my favourite activity. I would check my screen time at the end of the day to see valuable hours spent on Instagram and Pinterest. I agree, laughing at a million reels per hour is good to release happy hormones. But the long-term effects of using social media too much, far outweighs any benefits.
My quest to find offline alternatives led me back to my old love, reading hard copy novels. I also began taking early morning walks to watch the sun rise and rare evening jogs to stare at the sky. Nature became a healthier choice I didn’t know I needed. Indoor activities have ranged from rearranging my wardrobe to hosting karaoke alone.
Conclusion
Feeling guilty when you’re trying to relax is something we all experience. Rest is a necessity, not a luxury. Seeing it this way might help you start prioritizing rest. Remember, rest is not the same as laziness. It’s how your body and brain reset.
I’d love to know, what steps are you taking to learn to rest without guilt? Leave a reply in the comments, let’s talk about it.
